trials of a troll trying to get by in a world messed up by humankind [ I'M AT UTC -5]

Saturday, July 1, 2006

The last thing I wanted to do today was go to work…but it was a month end Saturday and I had no choice…the mad one needs to complete month end numbers…month end inventory…and project needs for the next 2 months… d*mn the vendors who need 4 to 8 weeks notice to supply what I need, what the plant needs…

My dad passed about 8 days ago…and although I have avoided the need to eulogize him here…not that he didn’t deserve and his passing didn’t require it…I wasn’t ready…and I never really will be but here goes…

Dad was born in 1915…and grew up during the depression…he and his younger brother basically supported their family when their dad couldn’t find work…he enlisted in the army in early ’41 and ended up a line officer in the infantry during WWII…a good man and a hard man…I had a basic problem with him when I was growing up…as a teen I thought he was a total and complete idiot…but as I got older…had a child of my own…I realized that he was a heck of a lot smarter then I had ever given him credit for…but then I am the middle kid…the black sheep of the family if you will…RIP dad…

Friday, June 30, 2006

An end of the month Friday with my clerk on vacation/bereavement time…that I was going to get everything done today with the help that was available to me was frankly impossible…even if my gifted clerk was there the odds where stacked against me/us…

In his absence no way …and yet…

There were some who expected the impossible…on one hand…a huge pile of the industrial bullsh*t on the other. As in I’m going to blame him even if it isn’t his fault because otherwise you might blame me…

If I every go postal (note to all I won’t ever but if I did)…. the customer super would go last with great violence
A very exhausting, frustrating work day…followed by a very gentile night…. filled with a little banking (payday)…no bills in the mail box, a few errands…a little tube…a little pc games…a little blogshares…and the constant presence of my two cats…all in all not a bad day

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

I got sympathy card yesterday from a totally unexpected source…someone who I never would expected one from but if I had really thought about it …considered the individual…I should have expected that if they knew…they would have done what they did…thanks LR you made my day…the lady in question directs the choral group I sing with…

I got a call tonight from an old friend…I’ve know BC for almost 40 years…he apologized for not being there for me but he found out too late to attend…we talked for a couple of hours…on every conceivable topic…and do to that and the above I’m feeling fine…
Work day was a day from the deepest part of the pit we call h*ll…relaxed a bit and a light supper…I needed to pay my respects to the passing on of my clerks mother in law…d*mn this is getting old….when my mom passed the dad of an old friend passed two days later…between the calling hours and services for my mom and her burial I had to attend my bud’s dad’s calling hours at the same d*mn funeral home…and like three days after my dad’s calling hours I need to attend my clerk’s mother in laws calling hours at the same d*mn funeral home…in the same d*mn room…the owner just looked at me and said…”not again”…but we do what we must…we might hate it and rebel , but we do what we must…

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

To day was a nightmare…originally my clerk had this week off…but they called him in yesterday because my dad was buried yesterday and I well just couldn’t be there…he worked until about 2 PM and found out his mother-in-law had passed…fortunately there are only 2 of us in the department and maybe bad luck will end at 2 rather then the traditional 3…

I had not been in the plant for 4 days and not only had all the catching up to do with my thing…but had to cover all the clerk jobs…and a very hot, humid day until a tad past 3 PM when the skies just opened up and it rain like it did in the time of Noah…fortunately it only last 2 hours rather then 40 days and nights…

I got home to a blinking light on the telephone, which indicates a message worship team practice was cancelled…as much as I enjoy practice I was not looking forward to it tonight…

I will probably have to put a few hours in Saturday…but then have the rest of that day, and until Tuesday off…sometime this weekend I will get around to posting a eulogy to my dad who passed on last Thursday…his life was a good one and demands a posting but I am not ready to do that yet…I want to do that logically…not emotionally
This has been a difficult 4 days in many ways…I was awoke about 12:30 AM Friday last with a call from my sister…Dad had passed on…I am now the oldest surviving male of my family line…rats…to add insult to injury while doing errands on Friday the check engine light came on in my car…as I took Friday off from work…needed to get together with the sibs to plan the formality of dad’s passing…and the emotion conditions that said passing caused…the first available slot for the car was 3 PM today…and the funeral and internment was at 10 AM today…followed by a family meal…it split my focus…the car problem turned out to be basically nothing, some covered under ware tee but it was a distraction to everything else…I would have really freaked out but as I sat there for the afternoon calling hours…almost the first 4 people who walked through the door where my best friend on this rotten earth and 3 other of the guys from work…and then I was okay…I will eulogize my dad at some point in this blog…he deserves it…but not now…I do not want to do it with the fared emotions, the state I am now in, I need to do that when logic returns…

Monday, June 26, 2006

We placed my dad today at his finally resting point next to my mother, to whom we gave the same service 7.5 years ago…I will eulogize him at some point…in the future…here…but not now…I d0 not want to do that when emotion overwhelmed logic…he deserves…demands…a eulogy…a recounting from a sane, logically son…not one a washed in emotion