trials of a troll trying to get by in a world messed up by humankind [ I'M AT UTC -5]

Friday, June 30, 2006

An end of the month Friday with my clerk on vacation/bereavement time…that I was going to get everything done today with the help that was available to me was frankly impossible…even if my gifted clerk was there the odds where stacked against me/us…

In his absence no way …and yet…

There were some who expected the impossible…on one hand…a huge pile of the industrial bullsh*t on the other. As in I’m going to blame him even if it isn’t his fault because otherwise you might blame me…

If I every go postal (note to all I won’t ever but if I did)…. the customer super would go last with great violence
A very exhausting, frustrating work day…followed by a very gentile night…. filled with a little banking (payday)…no bills in the mail box, a few errands…a little tube…a little pc games…a little blogshares…and the constant presence of my two cats…all in all not a bad day

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

I got sympathy card yesterday from a totally unexpected source…someone who I never would expected one from but if I had really thought about it …considered the individual…I should have expected that if they knew…they would have done what they did…thanks LR you made my day…the lady in question directs the choral group I sing with…

I got a call tonight from an old friend…I’ve know BC for almost 40 years…he apologized for not being there for me but he found out too late to attend…we talked for a couple of hours…on every conceivable topic…and do to that and the above I’m feeling fine…
Work day was a day from the deepest part of the pit we call h*ll…relaxed a bit and a light supper…I needed to pay my respects to the passing on of my clerks mother in law…d*mn this is getting old….when my mom passed the dad of an old friend passed two days later…between the calling hours and services for my mom and her burial I had to attend my bud’s dad’s calling hours at the same d*mn funeral home…and like three days after my dad’s calling hours I need to attend my clerk’s mother in laws calling hours at the same d*mn funeral home…in the same d*mn room…the owner just looked at me and said…”not again”…but we do what we must…we might hate it and rebel , but we do what we must…

Tuesday, June 27, 2006

To day was a nightmare…originally my clerk had this week off…but they called him in yesterday because my dad was buried yesterday and I well just couldn’t be there…he worked until about 2 PM and found out his mother-in-law had passed…fortunately there are only 2 of us in the department and maybe bad luck will end at 2 rather then the traditional 3…

I had not been in the plant for 4 days and not only had all the catching up to do with my thing…but had to cover all the clerk jobs…and a very hot, humid day until a tad past 3 PM when the skies just opened up and it rain like it did in the time of Noah…fortunately it only last 2 hours rather then 40 days and nights…

I got home to a blinking light on the telephone, which indicates a message worship team practice was cancelled…as much as I enjoy practice I was not looking forward to it tonight…

I will probably have to put a few hours in Saturday…but then have the rest of that day, and until Tuesday off…sometime this weekend I will get around to posting a eulogy to my dad who passed on last Thursday…his life was a good one and demands a posting but I am not ready to do that yet…I want to do that logically…not emotionally
This has been a difficult 4 days in many ways…I was awoke about 12:30 AM Friday last with a call from my sister…Dad had passed on…I am now the oldest surviving male of my family line…rats…to add insult to injury while doing errands on Friday the check engine light came on in my car…as I took Friday off from work…needed to get together with the sibs to plan the formality of dad’s passing…and the emotion conditions that said passing caused…the first available slot for the car was 3 PM today…and the funeral and internment was at 10 AM today…followed by a family meal…it split my focus…the car problem turned out to be basically nothing, some covered under ware tee but it was a distraction to everything else…I would have really freaked out but as I sat there for the afternoon calling hours…almost the first 4 people who walked through the door where my best friend on this rotten earth and 3 other of the guys from work…and then I was okay…I will eulogize my dad at some point in this blog…he deserves it…but not now…I do not want to do it with the fared emotions, the state I am now in, I need to do that when logic returns…

Monday, June 26, 2006

We placed my dad today at his finally resting point next to my mother, to whom we gave the same service 7.5 years ago…I will eulogize him at some point…in the future…here…but not now…I d0 not want to do that when emotion overwhelmed logic…he deserves…demands…a eulogy…a recounting from a sane, logically son…not one a washed in emotion

Friday, June 23, 2006

if i don't post much over the next few things will be hectic for a few days he, i got a call after midnight that my dad had pasted on, he would have been 91 next month, a good man, sometimes a hard man, but he will be missed.

Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Weird day…first I forget to set the alarm last night…awoke…rolled over and realized I had like 25 minutes to get to work…not good…got there and had a very irritating day…had a “how many of these can we stuff in a 40” container question”. Usually not a big problem but this was for a special roll length we’ve never run before for the ordered product and couldn’t get a straight answer from product on core length…not they fault but had to make a SWAG…for those who don’t know see below

SWAG (noun) Scientific wild ass guess

Which I really hate doing because they’ll quote the d*mn thing as gospel, and if it changes they’ll give me the but you said routine…when they forced me at gun point to make an estimate and I told them it was best guess and all bets were off…

Ran some errands watched a little tube and went to worship team rehearsal…still have the remnants of a summer cold and the leader tonight was in one of his lets do this one 59 times mood…voice is dead an go and will be buried tomorrow.

Never turned the computer on tonight until just a bit ago as I watched the showing of the newest “King Arthur” on cable…love the flick…the most historical movie on the real Arthur…still have some faults with it but I could watch a movie with Karie Knightley discussing jungle rot…

Monday, June 19, 2006

My only child was born when was I was 30 and her mother was 25...she grew up with adults...and had a hard times in junior

high and senior high...very few friends...from 13-15 she had very hard times...maybe because at ten she decided this is what her career was to be and never wavered.... despite what her education advisors thought or thought despite what teachers thought...at 10 she decided her career was in music...athletic induced asthma at 17 derailed her career thoughts of being a performance musician…and she dedicated herself to music education…she ignored the advise of the education advisors…and the military recruiters who tried to convince her to get her BA in poly-sci…she ended up at a DI school with a full academic ride…and had to fight off the desires of her major instrument teacher to go music ed. rather then performance…despite the problems…she has or had the skills to be a performance quality player…but her desire…her will…was always to teach… her best gift….

And she also creates a heck of a meal…father’s day…an invite to the daughter’s home with her hubby…a great, meal and quality time to spend with my only grand child…a small parrot…which loves classical music maybe more then I do…and informs my daughter on a daily basis what he has heard during the time he was alone…I have accepted the fact that I will never have human offspring from my daughter and her hubby….and I really don’t care…

Had a very low day physically…but I will survive

Saturday, June 17, 2006

This has been what maybe one of the worst days of my life…and as I have had …and considering that I have had 21637 days…+/- that’s saying something significant…no examination…no reciting of what happened…just…dang…

Friday, June 16, 2006

I really hate the situations life throws at me from time to time…I avoided the big …nasty cold all winter. And awoke this AM…in the late spring with the worst cold I’ve had in years…and the day despite the fact that I only worked a half day went down from there, needed to get some summer clothes…am playing in a golf outing tomorrow and needed something appropriate…decided to stop at the local Ponderosa …rather then just getting the buffet decided to get the 6 oz sirloin senior meal…asked for the steak rare…what I got was a medium well…if it had been a “real” restaurant I would have sent it back…almost forgot my “server” said twice he would bring me more napkins…and never did…obviously he got no tip from the old trollie…

Got a nice shirt, a neat pair of long shorts…they fall like 2+ inches below my knees…I would prefer ones that caught me at mid knee but then with my short little legs I can never find one’s that fall where I want them…and too long is always better then too short…

Ran out for some bread sticks and sauce from the local hot and ready little Caesar’s, I got a very disappointing pizza there about a week ago, but I love good bread sticks and sauce…the sauce was lovely but the bread sticks were flat terrible…will never return…

Although early for me will be turning in shortly…need to be at the course between 7:15 and 7:30…and 8 o’clock shotgun start…

Nite all.

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Today is today; tomorrow is tomorrow…and then weekend…I actually get a two day week end this week…but no sleep in day…need to be at the venue for the golf outing I’m playing in Saturday morning at 7:30 AM…and worship team run through at 8 AM Sunday…I would love a life where I could sleep until I awoke and then started my day…I hate the character then invented the alarm clock and bosses that think that if I don’t get to my appointed job at the appointed time I am a bad person…screw that attitude…

(The mad one takes a deep breath…tries very hard to deal with the world as it is…and fails)…

I have come to the conclusion that it is very difficult if not impossible to soar with the eagles when you work with a bunch of turkeys…

Must to bed

Nite all
Dang…despite it being late my mind is active…and I’m thinking of the two Jamies tonight…I’ve known two married couples in my lifetime with the same first name…at least phonically…when in college I knew a couple…Gene A Smith married Jean A Smith…anyways a couple of years ago Jamie and Jamie started attending our church Jamie (the hubby) is a career NCO with the military on his last tour of duty and his last deployment …he’s in Iraq due back in August…Jamie (the wife…with 2 kids is an active member of the church)…they are from the south and Jamie ( the hubby) played back up acoustic guitar, and back up vocals with the worship team until he was deployed to Iraq…and lead a few times…when he lead the style went to down home country…now mind you the mad one is not versed in down home country…I took classical piano from age 6 to 12…I played horn in f with my school band…( an instrument rarely if ever found in a country and western band)…and have been lead high tenor in the local choral society for years…classical…and particularly sacred choral is my gig…and I just had a blast singing with this gifted…committed…beautiful person…even if it did force me “out of the box”…dang…I wasn’t even in a universe I recognized…come back in one piece my friend…the mad one misses you…and his prayers are with you

Wednesday, June 14, 2006

The production super and I had a meeting this AM with a material handling vendor very productive…and the was the last truly productive moment of the day…I had 2 or three critical things to attend to today and I no soon got to my desk to deal with said items when then dang phone would ring and I would be interrupted by that which was not critical…nor important…nor even mildly necessary…it seems like everyone upstairs is of the opinion that I sit at my desk twiddling my thumbs…and are at their immediate beck and call when they have forgot the same dang thing I’ve told them for the upteenth time…

Why is it that information that is crucial to me is always transmitted by emails…and unless you happen to be at the ‘puter for the 10 seconds or so the that the alerts shows there is no longer a term alert to an incoming email…but the trivial…the things I could deal with any time in the next 3 days and be on top of it…they always phone with the attitude that if I don’t respond 3 hours ago the world will come to an end…we have peeps upstairs that never email…and those that never phone…and those that phone what should be emails…and emails what should be phone calls…and only one that ever gets it right more then 75% of the time…

(/trollie’s work rant for the day)

Cut the grass tonight and a bit of trimming…just am not that enthused about the yard work and the flower beds this year…have decided to take a more rustic approach…a more natural feel…it just happens to be there…. no design…nature intended it that way…yeah I know an absolute cop out…but live and learn…life is what it is and we have the energy and desire to do what we do and it takes a severe left turn as we get older…

A little tube tonight…watched “lift up your voice” and “rose” two totally different flicks but both enjoyable…

Need to stay on the vendor that runs the transfers at work…it’s like pulling teeth to get 2 a week and I need a minimum of 3…would change vendors but they got me over a barrel…they are the only one left…unless I want to pay a “we really don’t what to do this but we will if your willing to pay twice what the job is worth” quote…besides we’ve only used that vendor for one job and they made a mess of it…dang

(Trollie apologizes for re-opening his work rant but live and learn children)

Had a chat with daughter a couple of nights ago…she has applied for a new position…maybe not ideal on some points…my brother is in the same racket and has informed me of the draw backs of the job the d-lady is applying for but it would change her 40 mile one way commute everyday to an 11 mile one way commute…

Dad has been in the hospital again for the 2nd time with cellulites and the 5 or 6 time he’s had it… Sis and bro and I got together the other day…he’s really gotten to the point that he needs a constant presence…I know I posted this before but it is weighing on me tonight…dad will be 91 in July…is a vet of WWII…and a good man…a hard man…one that I really loved as a pre-teen…hated as a teenager…and respected as an adult…probably a very typical reaction of a middle, male, free thinker boy child…to his dad…I really hate putting him in an adult home but don’t see an easy option…

(Trollie’s cats try to pull the mad one away from the keyboard before he writes another novella)

Have decided to play the golf outing Saturday cold…except for the last 2+ years I played golf probably 80 times a years from age 24…and I’m 58 now…in the last two+ years have maybe played 6 or 7 times and not since May of last year…here’s hoping that “muscle memory” is not a myth…but the outing is with a bunch of guys from the church I attend…and the last thing this deal is about is the golf…many of these guys are members of the 10th Mountain Division…Fort Drum…which is their home is just a couple of miles out Route 283…and I have several friends and hubbies of friends deployed right now in Iraq and Afghanistan…to many the so called “War on Terror” is a subject for philosophical debate…for me it is personal…very personal…I know the commander of the Air National Guard unit in the ‘Cuse… although he won’t give me a straight answer was in the air chasing on 9/11…to many the current wars we are engaged in as a nation…is a debate of beliefs and philosophy…to me it is faces of guys I know…of their wives who are left alone while they are engaged…and the faces…the beautiful faces of their children…often too young to understand why dad isn’t there…sometimes even born when dad was already deployed…I never could have lived that way myself…but have the deepest respect for those who do…the neat thing is the respect that is shown by the current members of the military for my dad…dad was a 2nd lieutenant in charge of a weapons platoon in an infantry company of the 66th division in WWII…he is treated with extreme honor and respect by the current members of the military…

(Trollie looks up…the mad one always write his posts in word before copying and pasting his ramblings into blogger…and realizes he’s on the 3rd pages)

Nite all
I have gotten to an age where sometimes you have to make hard decisions about people, that are near and dear to you…my 90 year old dad for one…he’s in the hospital right now for the upteenth re-occurrence of cellulites…but he probably will be released in the next couple of days and there’s the rub…he’s been living with my sis and her hubby for the last 8 years or so but he’s gotten to the point where he really needs some fulltime care…sis and her hubby both work… brother and his wife both work and the only thing home during the day at my house are my cats and the dust balls under my bed…the three kids got together tonight to talk about it…the only choices are a “sitter” or an adult home…I really hate the choices but don’t see an alternative…

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

It’s late, I should have been in bed an hour ago but my mind is still racing, one of the things I have discovered about getting older, is the inability to leave the stress of work at work, my ex always used to abuse me about the fact that I brought the work stress home…she’d really trip out now because I’m worse about it then I ever was when she was still with me…

Monday, June 12, 2006

Just got off the phone with the daughter…she just figured out that Sunday is “Father’s Day” and invited me to dinner…talked for awhile, she had a positive interview for a new job…she currently teaches at a school that is a 40 mile commute one way…this interview would be an 11 mile commute one way…(trollie crosses his fingers)…if she doesn’t get it one must wonder what they are looking for…how many job applicants for musical teaching positions in upstate NY have 6 years experience and are Magna Cum Laude grads from a D I school…but then seeing as she is my daughter I my be slightly prodigious…

Work was a frigging nightmare today…got the overseas container loaded and as I check the pack list discovered that the load I loaded (off the acknowledgement (which was all we had to work off of because the load wasn’t releasable until this morning))…wasn’t the same as what the pack list said…load had been changed and either clerk didn’t catch the difference on the re-acknowledgement…or one was never printed…anywho…two loads at days end and my back is killing me tonight…as well as a chronic knee and hand problems as do from time to time suffer from a re-occurring back problem…particularly on days when I spend 4+ hours on the dang forklift…

(/trollie feeling sorry for himself)

Nite all

Sunday, June 11, 2006

Basically a wasted day, work for a bit, but had yard work to do but the weather was lousy and got nothing done…wanted to go to a driving range…have an outing next Saturday and really wanted to hit a few balls before…well maybe tomorrow…just a very down day…looked for some flowers to finish off the pots that flank my front steps and found nothing that “rang the bell”…I was as dreary and unsettled as the weather…just a very down…miserable day which I would have gladly skipped if that was an option…

Saturday, June 10, 2006

So technically I didn’t post yesterday, that is on 6/9 but since I haven’t been to bed yet despite the fact that it may be today, as the clock sees it…in my mind it is still yesterday…Saturday is still tomorrow as I see it because I haven’t gone to bed for Friday yet…

Today’s work was today’s work…too much math relative problems (I love math but just too rich a field today)…too much seat time on the forklift…(on one hand I love driving “lift” on the other hand the stiff suspension transmits way too much shock up the old trollie’s spine)

Take out for dinner…a little tube…current “Charmed” rerun episode on TnT…they have returned to the beginning…saw the last episode of the series on Thursday…I loved what amounted to the last 3 seasons…which is about the point I started watching the reruns…if I had caught the beginning I may never had gotten “hooked”…Rose who played the replacement for Prue is a babe…Shannon who played Prue is in a despite need for acting lessons…

Dad is in the hospital again…about the upteenth time he has had cellulites…and the second time he’s been in the hospital for it…but then he will be 91 in July so I guess that an occasional hospital stay is assumed…was admitted Tuesday but with one thing and another never got up to see him until tonight…he is recovering very well…thank you very much and may not have much rehab…

Was in excellent spirits tonight…and as I left the brother arrived so he had extended company tonight…

We live in a military community…Fort Drum which hosts the 10th Mountain Division is just a few miles out of town…it’s neat to see the reaction between the current members of that “elite” light infantry division and my 90+ year old dad…who was a 2nd Lieutenant in the infantry during WW II…I am awed by the respect and dad deserves it…

I really had a problem with my “hard arse” dad growing up…I could never quite understand how some one who had lived that long was so out of touch and just didn’t get it…remarkably between the ages of say 18 and 30 (my age as it turns out) all of a sudden dad got brilliant…as I got older (notice I didn’t say more mature…at 58 I think in many ways I still am a child of 12 or 13) …I came to the conclusion that while I will never totally agree with his way of viewing the world…life and what’s best for me…he really did have a handle on life, the world and did what the best for me…in his opinion…’twas never mine but he did do what he thought was best…and I can’t fault him for that…

The cats have been rotating, taking turns on my lap tonight…whether watching tube or on the ‘puter…I love my cats…they on the other hand only tolerate me…I have an opposable thumb…I open tuna cans…pour their milk and water, and open the very expensive “yuppie” cat food they love…because one of the furry little rascals has a tendency for urinal tract infection, I feed a top of the line almost $30 USD per 25 lbs. bag cat food which is designed to prevent and demises that problem…also a mid priced food particularly for indoor cats…I swear they eat better then I do…

(Trollie’ s cats try to pull him away from the keyboard, as he is on his way to writing the great American novel again not that they really care about very poor prose, but that they fear that if he continues he may forget to check their food, water and milk…and may never pet them again)…

I need to check into to work tomorrow…should be a quick in and out…must stop at a nursery and pick up a couple of annuals to fill the pots that sit on opposite sides of my front steps…the dianthus that I planted last year in the pots over the rather mild winter re-seeded and I have just a few holes to fill…need to stop up and see dad tomorrow…planning a late afternoon visit…dad is one of my students in Christian ED at church…may take the Bible up with me and catch him up on class is as he has missed a couple of weeks…he mentioned that tonight that I should have done that for him…he’s had physical issues that have kept him from church for the last 2 or 3 week…other then the current problem…

Will do what few groceries I need after work…grass needs mowing…yard chores need doing…and I need to spend some time…just being me…

I have committed to play a golf outing next weekend…and as I have not even had a golf club in my hand for over a year…I need to find a driving range this weekend…so I don’t make a total arse of myself next weekend…

Thursday, June 8, 2006

I wish I could convince the peeps upstairs at work that sometimes there is not a simple answer…a one answer fits all in all situations…had two such requests today where they wanted a straight forward simple answer to a complex multi-faceted problem…came up with an “averaging” solution that does nothing perfect but should handle the majority of scenarios…but there will be the few times where it doesn’t work and they’ll forget that I told them there was no way to give a “one size fits all” answer…rats…just one I’d like to be handed the clean end of the stick…

Tuesday, June 6, 2006

It’s been a mixed bag day on many levels…dad apparently had some debilitating chest pains this morning and was admitted to the hospital (he’ll be 91 in July)…he’s had some assorted physical problems lately and this is just the last in a series…

Took the mag glass to work to read the small print in the instruction books for the new QC calculators and the last of the three I tried turned out to be a charm…with just a few minor changes in the procedures to get the 3 readings they need the last one was the simplest to use…so they’ll buy about ten years supply of them and hopefully I’ll be retired before I have to go through that again…(see below post)

Had intended to have a nice flank steak I had gotten on a manager special with home fries for dinner but had gotten a late start this AM and didn’t have time to put the steak in the marinade…so had a light dinner of a bit of seafood salad with a buttered roll and put the steak in the marinade as soon as I got home…and had a late supper of said steak and home fries after worship team rehearsal at 9 PM…I love the lesser cuts of beef…more flavor then the pricier cuts and if cooked right…marinated and just a quick pan sear…can be almost as tender…the trick with flank or skirt steak is in the cutting…both have a very “grooved” appearance which allows you to identify the “grain” of the meat…if you cut with the “grooves”…therefore with the grain the meat can be very tough…regardless of how you prepare or cook it…if you cut across the “grooves” or perpendicular to the grain…it’s much better as far a tender…my preparation…cooking …and slicing were approved of by both me and cat aggie who mooched several pieces of said steak…

Rehearsal went well although we were several peeps short tonight…I look forward to rehearsal night every week…to some that might be pathetic…but I love to sing…I love music…and it’s a good bunch of peeps…

Nite all

Monday, June 5, 2006

Work was well work…spent too much time today trying to figure out the new calculators that they bought for QC…every time QC gets new calculators they throw them on my desk with a figure out how to get the results we need and write out a card for them to follow…well these don’t have an “auto” CV function…and since it’s been several years since I’ve taken statistical mathematics, like 40 years…I had forgotten the formula to figure CV’s…so after much frustration…and showing the QC supervisor how to do the MA and the SD…I was walking to my office to access the internet to find the formula and it hit me CV=SD/MA…duh…I guess old age has run me over like a run away truck…so I get the one figured out and show the series of steps necessary and he looks at me and says way to many steps…sorry but that’s what it takes…I’ve got two other calculators to try to look at but as they add more possible functions to scientific calculators it seems that even the simple functions require more steps…the other two have instruction sheets with type so small that trollie’s old eyes are having a problem with them…the “mag” glass is going to work tomorrow but I doubt that I can come up with a simplistic way to get what they want…I would like to say to them, “Look I may have the best math mind here but if the calculator is designed to function in a certain way , that’s the way it is…live with it”. And it ain’t my fault…and next time figure the d*mn things out yourself…now that ain’t going to happen…

Had things I should have done tonight…but just spent a gentle night with my cats…a little take out for dinner…some home made barbecues for a late supper…and a little tube…well a whole lot of tube…have avoided the net tonight until just a bit ago…

Have an outbound load tomorrow…a messed up load but will survive…

Nite all

Sunday, June 4, 2006

Not the best day I’ve ever had…certainly not the worst day…but not the best to be sure…went to bed early to allow me about 9 hours…because yesterday was a damp, cold day and arthritis was flaring needed the rest, but had one of those nights where I never sleep more then an hour and a half without waking up for one reason or another…a trip to the can here…a limb that hurt there…and a bad dream too…rats…

Awoke to a dreary and wet day…and by the time things had dried off to the point where yesterday's yard work could have been done…had not the energy nor the desire to even consider…just an off day…nite all

Saturday, June 3, 2006

Today was totally screwed up…even though it was a month end Saturday I figured I could get out of work in 2 hours tops…well 3 hours later…plus I had a bunch of yard work to do and it rained all day…so did the grocery shopping I had planned to do tomorrow after church and hopefully I can do the yard work tomorrow…

Got take out for lunch because by the time I did the errands and the bill paying et al it was nearly 1 PM and just wanted to eat…chilled this afternoon and had a nice salad for dinner…still not really late but the damp weather is wearing me down an may just call it an early night…

Nite all

Thursday, June 1, 2006

A cool wet rainy day today, not a busy day at work but I find myself “all in” tonight…nite all