trials of a troll trying to get by in a world messed up by humankind [ I'M AT UTC -5]

Saturday, May 19, 2007

It’s weird…I feel right now that I am more connected to the peeps in my neighborhood then I’ve been in the 32 years that I have lived in the same place…totally my fault…and I accept that…

Friday, May 18, 2007

I was surfing the cable tonight, ran into a movie I would never watch on plot…awfully but actually watched a few minutes for two valid reasons…one of which was Jennifer Grey…and the other was the final music as an updated version of Bach’s first prelude from volume 1 of the well tempered clavier…and as much as I think JG is a hot bitch…I didn’t click because of the music…pathetic…but there it is…

Was watching the finals of the “Ultimate Coyote Search”…and for the very first time in any “reality TV show”…or even “Semi-Reality TV show” I actually agreed with the winner…Marie and Regean were off the wall…but on the other hand I would have not been too disappointed if Wriggens and Red had won…okay so I am a pathetic dirty old man deal with it…

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

I am convinced that music is music...I was watching a Spanish movie with subtitles on Bravo..."Grandfather"...and the music that accompanied the last scene...the most important one ...was the nimrod variation from Elgar's enigma variations...an English composer...not Spanish...
but probably my single fav classical piece of all time

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Today was a strange day…actually Sundays are usually a very low stress day but today…

I have a strong commitment to my local church, and a stronger commitment to my faith…too my gifts…

But an awkward day…after morning services…

I found myself in a place where the old trollie would have been aggressive …read hurtful…but the person I am now …made an excuse to run away…

Life is what it is, and maybe on many fronts the last 3+ years have been less then what I would have expected them to be…(the mad one takes a deep breath and moves on…hopefully forward…but…)

A nice day…a positive day…

I have a niece the world sees her is disabled…things beyond her control has put her in a wheelchair at 35…and a single parent with 2 kids…and yet I draw strength from her when we “connect”…

We’d talked by phone earlier in the week …and she was free for a few hours this Saturday

(A brief pause as cat Aggie is lonely and I must attend to her needs)

If you cannot accept my love of cats then…. well sorry but I am who I am…just did my daily check for tumor test on Aggie…I have lost 3 of the 4 cats I have had as an adult to one form or any other to cancer and the 2 remaining I check daily in the obvious spots for tumors…Smokey accepts those checks …Aggie is offended by them….

(Oh Gd there I go again …losing my train of thought)

Anyways…my niece was free for lunch and I took her to my fav upscale Greek diner for lunch…

And I learnt a very hard lesson about being disabled or with the realities of being disabled…the mere fact of disassembling her motorized chair…and trying to store it in my sub-compact car trunk…and then trying to get it back together properly at the restaurant…and then reversing the process to get her home…don’t miss understand…to spend the hours with my gifted niece I would put up with it every time…but I never really understood …never really comprehended the logistical nightmare that she must endure…every day of her life

That being said I can’t wait for the chance to do it again…she had never had a gyro…to see her attack that plate of food with gusto was more reward then I have ever required…

She is my hero…. (Pardon the masculine form of the word)…we sat outside her place and talked for hours…except for my daughter…she is the one person in my family that I connect with the most…and it’s strange because she is a member of my family as she would say by “signature”…(that’s adopted as I would put it)….