it's raining and it's welcome, as much rain as we've had this spring it hasn't rained for better then a week and things were getting too dry, i keeped the garden watered but the lawn was beginning to get a little burned out....besides i really don't want to play golf today and now i have an excuse..not that i reaally need one......did not sleep well last night and really have felt a little out of sync all day.....have played a little bloogshares....watched a little tube and played at a few video games but nothing seems to hold my attention......have much to say but can't seem to find the words....i sometimes battle between being open and honest ......and private and secretive....part of it lies in the fact that this is an open medium........anyone can read what i write......and that would make no difference because i am who i portray myself as being to most everyone who reads me.......i "hid" behind the hidden nature of the web........really name and location not known.....on the other hand i can be found by people who know me in the "outside" world....and there are things i might feel free discussing in front of complete strangers....those who i will never met......never see face to face that i would with hold from those who know me face to face........weird but true.......i come from a background were much was taboo....was not discussed openly......was keep within.......ane even though i know that too much restraint can be bad ....i still have trouble being open on some issues......totally silly but true....