i'm 56 years old and with all that i've seen i have to conclude that sometimes there are things that defy logic and you should not try to figure out, we had a very cold winter and i'm in and out all day at work and yet got through the winter with nothing more then a slightly sore throat, so now it getting warm and nice, was in the high 70's F today and i woke up with a really nasty headcold, i probably have sneezed more today then the last 20 years put together.....somethings just make no sense at all

that was like deja vue all over again, my archives disappeared, now that use to happen at quite regular intervals but hasn't happened for months, since the upgrades....ah well
had a bunch of errands to take care of this week but didn't get a chance to take an afternoon off until today. worked out well because this was payday but i wasn't sure that i could get it off so i didn't make an appointment t get the car inspected at the place where i usually have my work done and they couldn't fit it in but got luck and found a place that could do the work, there is nothing wrong with the car, it's only 2 years old but the state law is the state law.......then ran around most of the afternoon, i hadn't gone grocery shopping last week so i was out of most everything, it's the first time since i've been living alone that i've actually used a grocery cart, usually just use the little hand baskets..
also needed cat food which is kind of a hoot....we feed them a special diet and the only place in town that carries it is the farm tractor store, so once a month i g in and but food for my "livestock"......sheeshhhh!!!!!.....as much as they sleep i really doubt that the term live is accurate.....
but got all tuckered out and have been a zombie most of the evening.......still tired and i'm ready to head for bed.....nite all
well running this thing through spell check i realized that i used the term we.....rats...still not used to it being only me

need to go out tonight but thought i'd post now, felt really low last night and went to be early, got up this morning earlier them usually, had all three cats on my bed and they where not happy that i was not paying attention to them, there are times and 5:40 AM is one of those times when i could be convinced to hate cats.....got down to the car and there was a dusting of snow on it, well actually an easy day at work.....and since i'm almost out of groceries decided to stop and get take out tonight, a place right on the way home does excellent deep fried haddock.....one of my favorite things.....feel decent to night....

man did i ever feel rocky at work today, day started bad, and just got worse, and physically my day mirrored the day, felt better this evening but i'm just dragged out, have been unable to concentrate on anything , just no attention span, which is unusual, usually i have no problem in that regard.....but have just made half-hearted attemps at anything i've attempted....a throw away day......

typical sunday, very hectic morning, was very tired after church, had an invite for lunch, something i really love but was a long drive out and back and just passed, just too tired well and one other reason that i will keep silent about, for a while.....anyhow just have hung out the rest of the day, and feel decent although knees are bothering me....

it's been a fairly quiet, relaxing day....worked for 3 hours this morning which really was longer then what i thought, but had a problem with my computer, kept getting error messages even before it booted up, really have no idea what's going on but there is no IT support on the weekend so i used my clerks machine, unfortunately the printer is slaved to mine so i had to run up to the office printer when i needed to print....got home there had been a call from my daughter, returned it and we went to lunch....had a nice time ( pause to comfort lonely cat)......have just rested the rest of the day and will probably go to bed early tonight.......have felt just a little off physically today but emotionally have been better......

i really didn't have a real great day today, mentally i was just a bit off, now anyone that knows me probably thinks that being a bit off is a normal condition for me, and i will freely admit not being normal but....... when i know i'm a bit off that's a problem......i didn't get everything done that i needed to and i've been mad at myself all week for being dumb, i zoned on sending my car registration in and it's not back yet and it expires sunday.......and if it's not back in time it's my fault, i got sent the stuff in plenty of time and rather then take care of it right away i put it at the back of my desk and forgot about it.....well i got one more day for it to come but the way things are going right now for me i don't think it will get here in time......rats.......
i have no cat bugging me tonight.....although i had two sitting with me while i was watching tv and the third tried t get up and a brawl ensued......lovely......
i'm doing laundry tonight .......oh how i love that.......well i'm tired and i'm outa here

boy i had an incredibly busy day today, which was on one hand bad because i feel like a wrung out dish rag tonight but on the other had woke up this morning in a huge funk, feeling sorry for myself and was so busy i didn't have time to think about it and was in a much better mood when i had time to sit down and think.....plus gave friend rick the word he needed for a crossword puzzle, he's much better at them then i but i do occasionally know one that's stumping him......i'm just feeling well dumb lately......looking at a "puzzle" that i just can't find the answer to and not will to admit that maybe there isn't one......

i don't know if this will do much good, i can't seeem to get mine site to come up tonight, it looks ok so i assume that blogger is having a problem, it's been pretty good lately so no big deal
been on an emotion rollercoaster today, but not ready to speak......

felt good most of the day, had the best night sleep i've had in weeks, but cold is breaking and rehearsal tonight really inflamed the old voice, just couldn't get it to cooperate. and have kind of crashed out right now....this is hopeless tonight....bye

weird day, i felt fine this AM, got a lot done and am still using up back vac so took the PM off as i had a little business to attend to, got home, made lunch and the bottom fell out physically, i felt very poorly all afternoon and into the early evening, am feeling better now but am very tired and will probably turn in early, i think part of the problem was i just didn't rest well last night, and the energy just ran out......
was really a great day, rained a little but was the warmest of the spring so far, and that may have contributed to my problem as i dressed way to warm this morning and overheated a little, ok a lot, i sweated like a stuck pig.....

i just put smokie on the floor, i will attempt to post while serving as a lap for the other two cats but not old smoke, she will not let me type and is also prone to butt typing which makes coherent posting impossible, of course i rarely post anything remotely coherent on my own but if she's involved the odds drop to zero,
i am very tired today, slept fitfully last night and woke up early but was just to dang stiff and sore to get back to sleep, spring is the worst time for me with my arthritis, and it's been particularly bad the last couple of days,
got dressed with out looking outside, went down to get in the car and discovered pea soup fog, driving to work was a challenge, and really it didn't burn off until well afternoon,
i think i may try to turn in early tonight but as sore as i feel i will probably have trouble falling asleep, it sucks growing old...(/self pity party)

Stronghold Crusader this is a link to the website for the game i was playing

i was in bed back just after nine last night and had the best nights sleep i've had in ages, except that i woke up about 2 huddles in one corner of the bed and had to "kick some cat" to get a place for my feet, no i didn't literally kick the cats but they weren't to pleased when i picked them up to re-arrage the foot space, worked briefly this AM and then took the rest of the day off from reality, spent most of the day playing stronghold crusader, have a little housework to catch up on but will do that tomorrow......

man i feel like i been drug thru a knothole backwards, i had a headache at work today most of the day, i think i'm coming done with a cold, which would be pretty dang funny, i went the entire winter cold free and i get one in spring.....
had dinner with dad tonight, i was giving hi, a hard time about you know your old when you take your son out to dinner and you both qualify for the senior's discount....had a nice time.....he'll be 89 in a couple of months.....off to surf

last night i posted with aggie on my lap and tonight it's lilly, she however is not behaving as well and will probably get booted off here shortly, i think the exodus has got them as confused as it has me, they've ( that is the cats) been very clingy with me and they never really have before, but the i do have the last two opposable thumbs in the house and since they can't use a can opener i am their last hope, she has settled down so i guess she can stay
got everything done early so burnt another half day of built up vac, took a chance and called the daughter who is on spring break and went out to lunch....had a nice chat and a goodtime, she teaches 4-12 instrumental music at one of the smaller schools in the area, in fact it's the 2nd smallest in the tri-county area at only about 350 kids in k-12
have to work at least briefly both saturday and sunday as we back on 24/7....what a drag....nite all

it's early, but i woke up with a cramp in my leg twice last night a couldn't get back to sleep, would like to just can the day but got somethings at work that must be attended to, and i'm the only one that really knows what needs to be done, i have a purring cat on my lap who is actually letting me type.....awoke in a foul mood but it is improving...(pause to pet cat...and put on floor so i can finish this)......
we're back on 24/7 for at least the next 3 weeks and then i think i may take a couple of weeks off....golf season is coming and although strangely i really don't have a great desire to play yet i'm sure that that will come....

as i look down i realize i never posted last night, i think i'm suffering from old-timers syndrome because i could have sworn that i did, if this post gets a little wacky i've got this on half screen and am reading the mayhem on the blogshares irc channel at the same time....before i left for rehearsal two of the cats were asleep on my bed. i came home 2 hours later and i don't think they had moved an inch, ah the life of a fur ball, it is a very wet, damp dreary day here to day and my mood and physical condition has paralleled the day...need to take an IB and head for bed...nite all

trollie very tired tonight, but a good day.....really punished the voice but got through everything ok.....had intended to eat lunch at my brothers and then come home but we started watching the masters final round and so i stayed the afternoon, glad i did, it was good for me not so spend the afternoon alone,.....they've got a couple of little dogs who spent sometime checking me out, i think they smelled cat....not to mention my cats checking me out when i got home...but a real enjoyable day.....but i'm tired but kind of wired so i don't think that sleep will come easy.......

slept until almost 9 this morning, felt good for a change, i hate alarm clocks, well that's not true, i don't hate them if they are not set to go off, it's only when they are in that state that i hate them, did some more cleaning of the house today, have been less then prompt in that area of late but have it in decent shape now, cleaned the frig and discovered that i have probably 9 different jars of mustard, now it's no quite as bad as it sounds, except for two jars of standard frenches' mustard, they are all different, i really like mustard....
tomorrow promises to be a very hectic day, because of the numbers we usually get in church on easter morning we are having two services, both choir and worship team are singing in both so i will need to be there by 8 and probably will not be done until 12:30......will probably spend the afternoon with my brother and his family unless i'm too tried, they live out in west carthage which is a fair distance. i was going to spend it with my daughter but she is also having her grand parents ( my in the process of being ex in=laws) and i thought it probably wise to avoid the possible confrontation...........

so i get to work at 7:30 figure if everything goes right i can be outa there by 11:00, as i drive in there are way too many cars in the parking lot, and b shift is still there, but they'll have the material i need for the one load by nine, so the other truck is there so i decided it will work out, that's when the fun begins, well 2 or 3 computer problems and one pain in the arse truck driver later i get shed of the place by 1 pm......needed to get cat food and food for the trollie but by the time i drove out to the one place in the city that sells the brand i use i'm starving so stopped got take out, came home cleaned the house, did so washing, went back out to pick up some billygoat for the troll and it was time to go to the good friday service, since i had eaten lunch late i ate supper about 8:30.....one of the things i've noticed about living alone is i tend to eat at weird times........i'm not sure that's a good thing but tends to fall that way.......i get to sleep in tomorrow i hope........but......

i'm very tired tonight only got about 3 hours sleep last night, and i really don't function very well on that little, have to spend at least the morning at work tomorrow so i'm going to knock off early tonight....

it'd happened again, i went to ping weblogs and got the "your blog hasn't changed" message when i know it has........that's been happening a few times lately........hmmmmm

weird, i've always know i could sleep thru just about anything but.....i needed to be back into work at 2 AM this morning so went to bed at a little after 9 hoping to get a little rest before hand, well i heard the alarm, turned it off got out of bed and realized that it wasn't 1:15 ;like i wanted to get up at but 2:15, checked the alarm sure enough had it set at 1:15, dang thing rang for an hour before it woke me up, no wonder the cats were frantic.....
despite the fact that tomorrow is a scheduled holiday plant wise i have two loads to load tomorrow, hopefully they both are there first thing so i can take at least half a day off.....but been there done that and on a holiday week end the odds are they will be late.......i'm off

i'm headed to bed, and try to get a little sleep or at least rest, i need to be back into work by about 2 AM, just got off at 4:30 PM, really not sleepy yet, usually don't go to bed much before 11 but if i don't get some rest i'll be shot tomorrow, have a truck that needs to be to the pier by tomorrow afternoon and it's about a 7 hour drive, i really hate doing this but one must, the last time i went in early for a load, i was there and 6 and the load never showed up til noon, (trollie mutters).......and i've got a late inbound about 4 that i need to be there for as well.......nuts.....originally i thought i had friday off as a holiday but now i've got two loads scheduled for friday......it's really been busy which is good but it's getting kind of old.......

i was really surprised this morning, despite the fall i took and the pain i got from the knee, i had no swelling and no bruise on it this morning, it's a bit tender but seems to be ok, at the time i fell i really thought i might have gone and done some serious damage to it, but seems okay now,
work was totally insane today, we've only been using the same ERP system for the last almost 5 years and yet somebody didn't check something and they had me scheduled to ship 504 rolls of a product tomorrow when i had only 360 some odd in inventory......true the system should have reflected the problem but this isn't the first time it's happened.....i think sometimes we ( and i include myself) become or have become to dependent on the machine.......(trollie runs off to practice on his slide rule)

woke up feeling really punk this morning, and the day went down hill from there, after loading a truck i was in the process of retracting the dock plate, lost my balance because it was slippery ( did i mention that it snowed again last night) and fell, and managed to land with all my weight on my left knee cap, flush on the diamond plate metal of the dock plate. ..........one of my cats is a real trip....i discovered that if you project a flashlight beam on the floor the crazy cat will chase it........what a riot.......

not a bad day all things considered, really had to fight with myself to get up this morning, with the lost hour to daylight savings, but the day went pretty well and i feel okay this PM all be it a little tired, was out for about two hours this evening and got back to find all three cats sleeping in exactly the same spots they were sleeping in when i left....ah to be a cat....the only down side is no opposable thumb.....

really great, i was in the process of running spell check and publishing the below post and i hear coughing and gagging behind me, turn to see one of my cats giving "birth" to a hairball right in the middle of my bed, wonderful.........the joys of living with cats.....

rainy, damp day, stopped into to work twice, once to put numbers in and once to check on some use rates that i had a hard time convincing myself when i heard the problem over the phone were right, they were but without running the numbers i won't have believed it, makes sense now but then i really have to check it out to believe, stop and got breakfast ot his AM, was in the mood for french toast and it's way to much hassle to make it for one...also stopped out at the golf course that i've been a member at for the last 26 years, with the turmoil swirling around me i have not yet been able to join, hopefully by the end of the month, i usually don't start playing until the end of april or beginning of may anyways, with the legs and knees not in the best of shape i don't "mud" very well, walking on wet, soggy ground tires me out, or rather my legs out before i can get around even 9, and i will not ride, i just don't enjoy the game put of a cart, i've always walked and that's the way i what to play, pro has given me some options on payment which i may take advantage of......otherwise just a quiet day, we lost a couple of orders so the 24/7 deal was cut short a week early so i don't have to go in tomorrow but with losing an hour tonight because of going to daylight savings time ( i believe it's called summer time in some parts of the world) i'll have to in effect get up at my usual time tomorrow anyway........i'm off

easy day, another half day vac but still have a ton of unused time off to burn, things are slowing down a little at work, and i feel pretty good today, still a bit in a fog emotionally but am starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel, the root problem is still there and will be for quite a while but at least i've made some sense of it, well that's not exactly true but i've come to the conclusion that there is no point of trying to make sense of it because there isn't any......not everything can be reduced to a logical equation, and there are somethings that it just isn't worth trying to do so.......

i have had a very strange day, emotionally i have been on a roller coaster most of the day, i feel like i'm trapped in a very bad b movie without either an exit, the script or a tub of popcorn.....i don't know whether to laugh, cry or barf.......anyhow i'm feeling a little more on even keel tonight, so many things pulling in opposite directions.......but i think that i'm beginning to find a center and when i do all will be well......at least for a moment and that is really all one can expect.....yes and i know i've revealed nothing of the substance of what ails me, but that too is the nature of the troll....i've never really had the ability to really share inner self with more then just a few....very few.....almost none......(/rambling)