trials of a troll trying to get by in a world messed up by humankind [ I'M AT UTC -5]

Saturday, December 22, 2007

So the Christmas thing seems to be set…depending on how I feel and what the weather is…my Sis’s on the 24th for brunch with all of the family that can get there…about 8 blocks away can walk if I must…lunch at my daughter’s on the 25th…(3 blocks if I must walk)…and then maybe dinner at my brother’s…they are serving lamb…but if the weather is bad a very nasty run over Champion Hill…hope the weather is nice…

I have discovered that cat Smokey and I have a common vice…we both love sardines in mustard sauce. One difference is I like mine on crackers and she likes them straight out of the can. Is there a chemical in sardines that A: causes a cat to lick their bodies for 5 minutes straight…and then causes them to go to sleep on your lap and snore for the better part of an hour. At least that’s what I assume from my observations.

Got a call and talked for over an hour last night from my Uncle Roy…except for one Uncle through marriage the last of the remaining family from the last generation…he was a CO during WWII…but served on a hospital ship…one thing I never knew …all of the hospital ships in WWII (and maybe now…just don’t know)…were named after military nurses who died in service…

Friday, November 30, 2007

Been an odd day weather wise here, light snow, followed by bright skies…followed by overcast, followed by light snow and heavy winds…so just after dark I looked out to see near whiteout conditions…very little snow but major wind…as I’m looking out my front window I realize that my lawn furniture is still in the front yard. (NOTE TO SELF: since it’s highly unlike that you will be using said lawn furniture any time soon…’tis probably a good idea to store it in the garage for winter).

Thursday, November 29, 2007

My fav game is Stronghold Crusader but tonight the AI allies are irritating me beyond belief…ask for supplies but if you if you don’t have the room to accept…why ask…I create to supply my AI allies but if I do that I have the right to assume…check that…maybe I don’t…I’m am troll…you are something that a computer geek has created…why do I assume that the geek was as good of a war gamer as me…MT hits him self with a whip…the game creator duds…or dudettes…understand code better then I do…but tactics in war games…I think not…

Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Okay so I know technically it ain’t winter yet…about 3+ weeks away…but if you live in the what the locals call the North Country of upstate NY…winter comes when winter comes…we got one of the weird storms today that I’ve never seen anyway but here…we had a thunder and lightning snow storm…just of dusting of snow but thunder and lightning to accompany it…

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Today was a day that was a good day, one that went quite well with some interesting twists…my commitment to church went find…and went to my fav Sunday lunch spot…a Chinese buffet…about halfway through my meal my bro, his wife and 2/3 of their kids came in so I finish the last part of my meal with them…they were going to Albany today to return middle child to college and son to train to NYC…just hung out the rest of the day and watched some tube…reruns of “I want to be a high school cheerleader again”…pathetic I know but finally my fav won, watch some of the local coverage of the NYS high school football championships and two section III teams won ….(local area)…and watched the Iron chef America holiday contest and although closer then I’d thought it was Paula/Cat…won…but to see Cat’s helper Cori Lynn…dressed as an Elf…at 9’ tall and 700 lbs I admit was a little weird…( okay she’s not quite that big).

Thursday, November 22, 2007

A strange day…most of which went better then it should have…but near the end reality set in and I was reminded that even on special days…sh*t happens…

Monday, November 19, 2007

So the Thanksgiving thing is now set…Daughter’s for a 1PM thing…wander off for dessert at my Sis’s…to visit nephew and his lady and assorted other relatives…wander off for a turkey sandwich with my friends when ever…(the mad one looks at his bod in a mirror and wonders what he will look like 20 lbs. heavier)

It’s been awhile since I’ve posted. Thursday is Thanksgiving Day in the US of A…read harvest festival…and I have 3 invites for meals that I can’t refuse…Thanksgiving is all about family and friends…the days surrounding it are the highest volume travel days in the US of A…everyone tries to get “home”…I’ve been invited to my daughter’s at 1 PM…to my sis’s …well she hasn’t decided yet but since my nephew and his lady will be home I need to get there even if it’s just for dessert…and then got a call from my best bud in the hood…he and his lady are making a feast…and need to stop there late even if it’s a bit of turkey and some dressing between two slices of bread…and a beer…

The days are turning cold here…pre-winter is upon us…

I have a love hate relationship with my hometown…I love March though early November, and hate late November thought February…Winter in upstate NYS sucks…

Monday, November 12, 2007

Fall is definitely upon us here in the Northcountry…actually late fall…colors are long gone and all we have left is a few leaves on the trees…been less then warm the last week…but I love this time of year…fall has always been my fav season…

Friday, November 2, 2007

I’m getting old…and forgetful…4 ago marked the 5th year of this blog…and I didn’t even buy it a card…

Today was not a half bad day…got some disturbing mail but have time and the resources to respond…a couple of nice walks…chat with friends both real and “virtual”…and my fav supper…a little sausage…a little cheese…and a little fruit…fruit being a nice Asian pear…and cat Smokey enjoyed the fine Fontinella cheese as much if not more then I did…and pound for pound she ate more then I did….

It turned a tad cold today…but then it is the first of November…and this is the northcountry…and October has been rather unseasonably warm…

I avoid All Hallow’s Eve …if you were me won’t you…(no explanation given…but speculate)

Sunday, October 21, 2007

MTV showed a marathon of so you can think you can dance cycle 2 this weekend…a guy won…what a surprise…if you looked at the live audience they were 80% teeny bobber females…the female dancers were the best…but then I am the mad one…I am the trollie…I am the dirty old man…not to cast stones but if they got to know most male dancers…I’m not going to go there…

Benji the guy who “: won”… a definite one note…damn it…why do I watch “reality” TV…. the peep that should win almost never does…accepts for Carrdee…

Saturday, October 20, 2007

I love reality TV…okay I admit a huge personally fault…but there it is…but I find of all of the show America’s Next Top Model is racist…if you watch all of the cycles when two equals find themselves in the final two the white bread loses most of the time…get all the shows on DvD and tell me I’m wrong…

Friday, October 19, 2007

Don’t get me wrong, I’ve lived in Watertown for 41+ years at this point…and 99.9% of the time I love Watertown…but for about 2 minutes tonight I hate Watertown.

I was in my front yard…a nice GyV cigar…I nice VSOP cognac…out of the corner of my I thought I saw one of the neighbor hood cats wander up my front sidewalk.

Oops…black and white…big fluffy tail…skunk…

Whether it was the scent of the cognac or the scent of the cigar…the skunk wandered off without leaving any of its scent.

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

I’m quickly approaching my 5th year of blogging…it has both been a great benefit and a huge lose…but by in large…
The day is what it is, I have friends in crisis…still haven’t got both sides…I hate it when I’m caught between two friends…

Monday, October 15, 2007

Not a good day…two of my best friends split up…only have heard one side of the story…???…A daughter of a couple I respect openly smoked a reefer in front of me…GD…what do I do…

Saturday, October 6, 2007

Today, not sure how I need to process all the information…talked to a bunch of old friends…with one exception…all positive…but one piece of information…was frankly more then I wanted to hear…made me very sad…and just can’t process it…one of those deals where I want to react in a positive way…and don’t know how…

Thursday, October 4, 2007

How the hell did Huag win Top Chef 3…I must admit that he had maybe he best technical skills…but he had no heart…great ability… but his cooking was too mechanical…

Casey was the best…I’m not sure I will vere watch the show again…why can’t a female win… it’s bullshit…Huag the winner has technique but no soul…when will the panel understand

How the hell did Huag win Top Chef 3…I must admit that he had maybe he best technical skills…but he had no heart…great ability… but his cooking was too mechanical…

Casey was the best…I’m not sure I will vere watch the show again…why can’t a female win… it’s bullshit…Huag the winner has technique but no soul…when will the panel understand

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

I think I’ve mentioned before that I sing male harmony with the worship team at my local church. We where give a great honor. We were asked to lead worship at the annual district conference. On one had it required us to pack all our equipment in to a small space and make two runs of 1 hour and 15 minutes twice…first road trip we’ve ever made…on the other hand …what a rush…we are an octet…leader on guitar…bass guitar…percussionist/violinist…keyboards…soprano lead…female harmony singer…and me… any vocal part that’s left…and our sound man…

I have been in musical groups for over 54 years…but the last 2 days…with out regrets my high point…tonight N and I knit the best harmonies we ever have…can’t decide…maybe yesterday the flow was better…tonight the mix was better…it is what it is…not to mention that B our high lead was absolutely on her game…

I’ve mentioned this before but music, vocal music defines me…

Sunday, September 9, 2007

The worship team I sing with at my local church has been requested to lead worship at the district conference…both an honor and a huge responsibility…it will be the first time we’ve traveled…

Distressing call from my D tonight…sorry no details

Thursday, September 6, 2007

I got a call from an old fiend today…(old is both figuratively and literally)…he’s 90 and I’ve know him for 41 years…I had lunch with him a month or so ago…and the slip in the last few weeks was apparent…

As I know his kin I made some calls…my best hope is I over reacted…

He has been a friend for 41 years and my boss for 35 years…but it never felt that way…it always felt like we were co-workers…

Over the years we have had our …spats…but I’ve never kept score who won/lost…he is an amazing man…and the world will suffer a great lose when he departs…

Wednesday, September 5, 2007

While I was checking my blog tonight I realized that I’m approaching 5 years of entries…who would have thought…and although my frequency of posts of late have been light I’m amazed that this has held my interest this long…
I am a big fan of completive reality shows…not the vote off the island type but where the peeps are judged …”fairly”…at least most times…I must admit that they must sell the show and at times personality…either negative or positive does play a factor…but Howie is gone on Top Chef…cycle 3…finally…I would have never picked a chef with that attitude to begin with…

Monday, August 27, 2007

The last few days may have been the worst days of my life…I’ve got red tape legal issues…I’ve got family members with medical issues…and today my genetic disorder chose to rear it’s ugly head…

Sunday, August 26, 2007

Today was the best and worst that life offers…and I survived

Thursday, August 23, 2007

I am not in the best of moods tonight, and probably will not be in the best of moods tomorrow before I get a phone call…my brother is going in for a medical test…he’s got some symptoms…maybe really nothing and then again…

Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I am not In a great mood tonight…it’s a family member who has “issues”…GD I hate that word…I prefer problems because it’s more to the point from my aged understanding of English…

Sunday, August 19, 2007

Been a weird 3 days…no details…well maybe a few…or none on second thought

Saturday, August 18, 2007

I am who I am…people use blogs for many reasons…but the main reason is for the purpose to remind them of where the were at a specific time and place…this has never been or ever will be a place for those of you who may wander in from random “hit” from Google…or what ever…this is my home…it is a place for my memories…for the place to record what I might forget…

On all levels but one had a very nice day, because friends are on opposite sides of an issue(s), I find myself in an awkward position…it is a lose/lose situation…and I will withdraw…

Got a call from my brother…let’s meet on a local short golf course and play some golf…we did but no actually golf was played…we did take several swings at golf balls…but hacking…or the fact that golf spelled backwards is flog…was the better description of what occurred…but we had a great time…

I have been…well withdrawn…for sometime…in the last few months I have made a conscience effort to reconnect with those who live around me…I am by nature a very private person…I must re-evaluate…I hate drama…I hate being caught in problems I can’t solve…but it seems that those that I’m most attracted to as friends…?????

Thursday, August 9, 2007

t’s really been a couple of very strange days…(for those of you who hate novellas you my want to click away right now because this may take a while)

It was really kind of weird because as I live alone, well not really alone, I do have 2 cats…my sister today (we will deal with the other elements of that deal later)…was concerned that I don’t “socialize” enough…sorry sis but I realized that months ago and have corrected the problem…if I ever really had one…

I have been avoiding something for months…someone that I have know for like 41 years, and work for, for 30 some odd years…has been trying to get a face to face with me over a meal…well to give the man some credit…I never really worked for him…I work with him…he was always the boss but with a few exceptions he always after a brief discussion, well that’s not really true …we never really discussed anything…a friendly argument would be closer to the truth…I was usually able to convince him to just let me do my job…but he had no real contact or any power within the firm having retired a few years ago…I was dismissed a few months back…as I understood when we finally sat down yesterday over a fine lunch of Greek food…his concern was that I did not blame his son for my dismissal…his concern was that his son…who is actually my brother-in-law was not responsible…but then since the firm was sold about a year before…I knew the exact problem(s)…never did connect with the new “power” and wasn’t surprised that they found an excuse to walk me out…( and never blamed his son)

Have any of you ever grow up as a middle child…I don’t think that anyone who hasn’t can comprehend the following…so you have my permission to just walk away from here right now…

For most of my life…a least through my school years I hated my sister…well maybe hate is too strong…intimidated would be closer to the truth…parents, teachers, and the odd “friend of the family”…”Why aren’t your grades as good as…(name deleted)”…or regardless what had been the problem between me and my younger brother it was always my fault because I was older I should have know better…I have come to grips long ago with my brother…but it’s only been a few years that my relations with my older sister have…well…become good…

She had called me early in the week that she needed my signature on a document that was still required for dad’s estate…we had thought that hat was handled months ago…we though we had crossed every “T” and dotted every “I”…but then neither of us have no really idea of how deep and thick “RED TAPE” can be…well that’s not complete true…in her line of work she has a better idea then I do and she was surprised…

After all these years…(63 and almost 60) we have finally come to he realization that we have similar differences…we are both very intelligent, very logically and very driven…in totally different directions…is it surprising that we “butted heads” more then once…

(Did I ever say here that as much as I love my cats I hate it when their insistent for attention derails my train of thought and delays my postings)?

As much as I regret this as a life long fan and player into my 40’s of baseball/softball I have observed the passing of Henry A’s homerun record with great sadness…firstly because I have been a Braves fan for over 50 years…secondly because Henry A was a huge fav of mine…and lastly because as a reasonable decent college athlete, I really resent Bond’s appeal to the old dumb athlete stereotype…” I’m an athlete, I didn’t know what they gave me, I trusted them that it was okay”…

Give me a break…

Nite All!!!

Wednesday, August 1, 2007

Why is it that there are times when I get an ad on the net that makes me chuckle…I just got one that asked me if I wanted to be a member in the army…at 59 years old I doubt that’s an option…
Dang it’s been awhile since I’ve posted, no excuse. Like the line from “Tale of Two Cities”…today was the best of times and the worst of times…slept poorly last night…but a nice lunch with my daughter this noon.

Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Life is what it is…if one could retain the strength of youth and the knowledge of adulthood…the perfect man…let’s face it ain’t goin’ to happen…

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Sunday before Memorial Day…low attendance at church as many folks are away…voice not 100%…strange Indy 500…where because of the weather…those who were off sequence contented and the best cars didn’t…ah well it is what it is…

Saturday, May 19, 2007

It’s weird…I feel right now that I am more connected to the peeps in my neighborhood then I’ve been in the 32 years that I have lived in the same place…totally my fault…and I accept that…

Friday, May 18, 2007

I was surfing the cable tonight, ran into a movie I would never watch on plot…awfully but actually watched a few minutes for two valid reasons…one of which was Jennifer Grey…and the other was the final music as an updated version of Bach’s first prelude from volume 1 of the well tempered clavier…and as much as I think JG is a hot bitch…I didn’t click because of the music…pathetic…but there it is…

Was watching the finals of the “Ultimate Coyote Search”…and for the very first time in any “reality TV show”…or even “Semi-Reality TV show” I actually agreed with the winner…Marie and Regean were off the wall…but on the other hand I would have not been too disappointed if Wriggens and Red had won…okay so I am a pathetic dirty old man deal with it…

Wednesday, May 16, 2007

I am convinced that music is music...I was watching a Spanish movie with subtitles on Bravo..."Grandfather"...and the music that accompanied the last scene...the most important one ...was the nimrod variation from Elgar's enigma variations...an English composer...not Spanish...
but probably my single fav classical piece of all time

Sunday, May 13, 2007

Today was a strange day…actually Sundays are usually a very low stress day but today…

I have a strong commitment to my local church, and a stronger commitment to my faith…too my gifts…

But an awkward day…after morning services…

I found myself in a place where the old trollie would have been aggressive …read hurtful…but the person I am now …made an excuse to run away…

Life is what it is, and maybe on many fronts the last 3+ years have been less then what I would have expected them to be…(the mad one takes a deep breath and moves on…hopefully forward…but…)

A nice day…a positive day…

I have a niece the world sees her is disabled…things beyond her control has put her in a wheelchair at 35…and a single parent with 2 kids…and yet I draw strength from her when we “connect”…

We’d talked by phone earlier in the week …and she was free for a few hours this Saturday

(A brief pause as cat Aggie is lonely and I must attend to her needs)

If you cannot accept my love of cats then…. well sorry but I am who I am…just did my daily check for tumor test on Aggie…I have lost 3 of the 4 cats I have had as an adult to one form or any other to cancer and the 2 remaining I check daily in the obvious spots for tumors…Smokey accepts those checks …Aggie is offended by them….

(Oh Gd there I go again …losing my train of thought)

Anyways…my niece was free for lunch and I took her to my fav upscale Greek diner for lunch…

And I learnt a very hard lesson about being disabled or with the realities of being disabled…the mere fact of disassembling her motorized chair…and trying to store it in my sub-compact car trunk…and then trying to get it back together properly at the restaurant…and then reversing the process to get her home…don’t miss understand…to spend the hours with my gifted niece I would put up with it every time…but I never really understood …never really comprehended the logistical nightmare that she must endure…every day of her life

That being said I can’t wait for the chance to do it again…she had never had a gyro…to see her attack that plate of food with gusto was more reward then I have ever required…

She is my hero…. (Pardon the masculine form of the word)…we sat outside her place and talked for hours…except for my daughter…she is the one person in my family that I connect with the most…and it’s strange because she is a member of my family as she would say by “signature”…(that’s adopted as I would put it)….

Friday, May 4, 2007

Okay, so it’s a long established principle that I am pathetic

…Sorry but it is what it is…and I’m hooked on random “reality” TV shows…no clear reason why one appeals to me an another doesn’t…just is what it is…

Have of late been watching the new “Coyote Ugly Search” on CMT…okay so even more pathetic because I like watching girls 30+ years younger then me shaking their booty…

Was blown away tonight because the team I had pegged as final two got booted tonight…just proves that I am not the final judge…

In general let me say that I have never actually watched a reality show and had my fav win…

But on the other hand …

Sunday, April 29, 2007

If today was the first day of the rest of my life …forget that…

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Today was a very down physical day…

I really hate the finals of “Top Design”…but what’s new…I always hate the selection of “judges”…seems like my personal fav rarely ever gets to the finals of any “reality show” and if thy do they never win…if I had a half a million to dedicate to a space I’d hire Clarrisa before Matt every time…I thought the decision was bullsh+t…let me expand on that a little…I’m not married with a 4 years old daughter…I live alone with my 2 cats…and to me the most important rooms of the house are the kitchen and bed room and “C’s” design in those two spaces blew Matt’s away…

Sunday, April 8, 2007

Been awhile since I posted last, no real reason. Just haven’t…

Met some old friends for a nice late lunch/early dinner at my fav upscale Greek diner…they had never had Greek food before so I ordered for us…a Greek salad, and a Greek sampler platter…a nice time…

Going to the daughter’s for dinner tomorrow…and a busy day at church…Easter and all…

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

You know that life is what it is…sometimes we get what we desire…and sometimes we get what we deserve…but 90% of the time we get …well neither of the above but we just have to deal with it…

Saturday, March 24, 2007

An interesting day…a little Chinese buffet for lunch, they had egg fu yong…one my absolute favs…and interesting day…spent more time on the phone with old fiends then I have spent on the phone in …well years…3 of us are arranging a lunch…and I need this…

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Life is a strange journey…it has many different choices…but the rub is that we can only pursue one at any given times…roll the dice and hope we pick the best path…
If today was the next day of the rest of my life I would take a pass…

Monday, March 19, 2007

The Iraq war is really starting to wear on me, I was never a supporter, I live in a military community…and have had many peeps I know either assigned there or know the wives of husbands who are assigned there…

Putting ourselves into a situation where sectarian violence was a given was a huge mistake…I saw the possibility…why were our leaders blind to it…In my opinion a huge mistake…

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Awake early and feeling down physically…so what’s new…but did what was required…cancel that…I did what I needed to do…what I wanted to do…a nice lunch at my local upscale Greek diner…discovered a new fav…Awake early and feeling down physically…so what’s new…but did what was required…cancel that…I did what I needed to do…what I wanted to do…a nice lunch at my local upscale Greek diner…discovered a new fav…

Saturday, March 17, 2007

I am reminding of the quote from “The Tale of Two Cities”…”it was the best of times and the worst of times”…that pretty much sums up my day…I struggled all day with my familial tremors…and a basically boring day…but a nice meal of corned beef, cabbage and potatoes at my daughter’s and nice conversation…while my genetic roots are light years from Irish…I love the tradition Irish boiled dinner…

Thursday, March 15, 2007

A long phone call tonight with a dear old friend…well maybe I should not say old …but rather that I have know this peep for like 20+ years…the peep was concerned about me but truth be told I’m more concerned about my peep…my thoughts and prayers are with my friend…nuff said…

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

It is what it is…and I accept that…it isn’t what I would have chosen…but then when do you really get to choose…oh I could make a valid argument that we do get to choose…but it seems like I never have a choice between what’s best for me and what isn’t…but rather the choice always seems to be the lesser of a selections of what’s least bad…ok so I’m a pessimist…or maybe a realist…or maybe it’s just that I seem to always be offered the dirty end of the stick…

To the two old friends who called today to see how I was holding up a special thank you…and to the one who requested that I keep them in my thoughts and prayers you’re there…

Life is a funny thing…it is a balance between many variables…

Today for example I was physically pretty low…but on other levels a great day…

Tuesday is my fav day of the week…for it is the day of worship team practice…I get to hang out for a while with a great bunch of peeps and make music…music is what keeps me “centered”…it is where I run to when everything else in my life is out of balance…

Monday, March 12, 2007

Today was one of those low physically days that as a youth I never anticipated…we think as a young person we will always feel …alive and ready for anything…there is no way as a youth we can anticipate being old…

To those who expect me to in some way to “go off” about what has occurred of late…please stop coming here…your presence annoys me and you will not get the pleasure you seek…

Did I make an error in judgment…no dah?

But in retrospect was it a positive…absolutely…

The weight of the world has been lifted…and I’m okay

So just go away…and leave me alone

(NOTE: to those who have come here by chance ignore the above…it’s for those who think that I am at low ebb and have never or could never understand who and what I am)

I have had over the last 20+ years 6 cats …anyone who has ever read this slag heap knows I love my cats… 4 of the 6 are no more…all of the 6 are indoor cats…de-clawed and spade females…3 of the 4 have died of cancer…drives me nuts…I wish that all of them would have been at my funeral

I have a whole litany of things to say tonight, well actually this morning so this may very well turn into a novella…

Has been warm the last two days…not warm mind you mid summer warm but warm for early March and the huge snow banks that have obscured visibility when driving and the mess that was my drive way have been greatly improved…

I’m a little peeved that the ‘Cuse did not make the NCAA’s but I half expected it…I thought they really needed to go one round deeper in the conference championships then they did…and despite a good seed in the NIT’s their history in the “also rans” tournament is not good…

Been a mixed bag sort of day …some highs…some lows…and a whole bunch of neutrals…

Saw my genius nephew today…and of all of my nieces and nephews…and grand nieces and nephews he is the one that I connect with the most…he is like 20 or 21 and is getting his masters in computer science from RPI this spring …and has accepted a job offer from Google which he will start in May…although I truly expect that he will eventually succumb to fate and my predictions for him and end of getting his PhD. And ending up in academia…the only reason he won’t is just to prove me wrong…

I have made an interesting observation about cats…I have shared my existence over the last 20+ some odd years with 6 of those little fur balls…2 remain…they seem to live (unlike dogs who come when they are called)…totally by their own needs, desires, whims…they come when called only if it fits in with their own agenda…but I love them just the same…

Well I bit short of a novella…but nite all

Friday, March 9, 2007

This winter has kicked the crap out of me…I have been forced to pay to get pulled out of my driveway 3 times…none recent…and the cold has been a source of great distress…things are what they are…if one thing can be resolved…I have come to the conclusion that I should move to a spot with less weather extremes then the spot I find myself in at this point…

Thursday, March 8, 2007

I hope that today was not the next day of the rest of my life…a physically very low day…but a decent day on other levels…I guess at my age I must accept low days physically but it is a struggle…

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Has not been the best day in my life. I have a condition known as familial tremors, and it was as bad this morning as I can ever remember…but a good day on other fronts …so I’ll take it (if your interested
familial tremors)

Had a great time at worship team practice tonight…we had a new vocalist…has the ability to sing a descant part…hope she has the time to continue…never have sung with her before but the vibes suggest that I have sung with her forever

On another note…a dear friend stopped by today…with obvious great concern about my current status…thanks you but forgive for me being evasive…I protect you…not me
To those of you who have hit my site off troll54 in a search engine…and expect me to respond in a negative way about the events that we (that is me and you) are aware, it ain’t going to happen…

Monday, March 5, 2007

Today was not the best day of my life…physically I have struggled all day with the issues that are part and parcel of my arthritis…

To those of you who have been logging on of late to get some tidbit of an explosive response to what is…you will be disappointed because nothing is forth coming…

Sunday, March 4, 2007

I find myself in a very strange place…a very conflicted place…I am not now …nor every have been a supporter of the current war in Iraq…I have now and always thought that it was a huge mistake in judgment by our leaders…on the other hand it is very personal to me…I live just a short drive to Fort Drum…home of the 10Th Mountain Division…I have several friends…or spouses of friends who have served in that war…peeps I love and respect…I am struggling with my need to support peeps I love and respect…while faced with the reality that what they are ordered to do…and what their families have to endure…and the fact that that I am convinced that we (as a nation) are involved in the ultimate no win scenario…I support my friends…and those that they love…but I can’t support the war…I guess that what I’m really saying is that I am at a crisis between my emotions and my logic…and can’t decide which wins…I really hate it when my humanity over powers my reason…
Today was a day of highs and lows, it was a day of confessions/explanations…It was a day when the spirit was fine, but the flesh was weak…a day of reunion…

Saturday, March 3, 2007

Life is what it is, sometimes we get what we most want, sometimes we get what we deserve, and sometimes we get what we least expect…and that’s where I find myself right now…but I will deal with it…at anytime in my life I am in the perfect place to deal with that which I never thought that I must deal with…

Friday, March 2, 2007

Not strangely, but rather predictably my interesting in blogging has been re-kindled…(there will be a brief pause here as I am in the middle of an uncontrollable fit of sneezing).

Over the least few months I have lost interest in this slag heap that I call my blog…except for one brief moment that in many ways was a huge mistake…(long since has been deleted)…but in many ways maybe the most important post I’ve ever made…because it has spawned the beginning of my next life…others made a choice that I was reluctant to make but needed to…and for that I am grateful…I have always worked off the theory that no good deed every goes unpunished…but now I feel that no misinterpreted deed ever goes un-rewarded…what many would view as the low point in my life…I view as a blessing…

The internet is a very strange place, it is a place where peeps are what the post (in blogs/newsgroups/chat rooms) say they are, but are they really what they claim to be…in most cases we will never see the real person…never see who they really are…only who they want us to see (and by seen I mean what their posts imply)…the sexy…cool…charming 20 something babe may actually be in her mid 40’s and weigh 600 lbs…if we must accept at face value those that we meet in real life…do we not have to take as a grain of salt those we meet in internet life (for lack of a better word)…if you don’t take in context what we read in internet form…then pardon but you have been deceived…if you take anything you read here…or in and internet forum as gospel…then you are ….____…fill in your own blank…and be honest…
I decided it was time for a change, I’ve been using a generic topical arthritis rub for years and lately it just hasn’t been doing the job. I decided to switch to a new topical rub the uses, as it’s active ingredient the same natural substance that makes hot peppers hot. Now this is like 3 times the money for ½ the volume of product, but it seems on first application that it may very well be worth the added expense…

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Very strange day, I should be lower then low but I’m not…I got fired today from a job I’ve worked for 35+ years…I have no intention of going into why…other then to say I don’t agree with the reasons…I should be in the middle of a huge downer…and I actually went out and celebrated…I feel like a great weight has been lifted off my shoulders…

Fortunately I am in a position money wise where I do not have to frantically look for other employment…will take sometime…maybe look for a summer type job…and seriously look for a new job next fall…but then if things play out as they might…I may never work “fulltime” again…first shot at retirement is after all only 2+ years away…

Saturday, January 27, 2007

Forgot to mention…my fav waitres at my fav Saturday lunch spot…they have adjusted the menu…I can now get my open face gyro sandwich with a small Greek salad as a side…yes!!!…But as a typical upscale diner definition a small salad there is a large salad anywhere else…there are two spots in my eat out rota for sure and I am seriously considering adding a 3rd…Chinese buffet on Friday…Greek upscale diner on Saturday…and Indian on Sunday…new place…but I think it will be added…

Today was not the day, I did the bare minimum at work today, must spend a few hours at inventory either today, tomorrow or Monday but today was not the day…I am concerned with the pain I have experienced over the last 2 or 3 days that finally I must accept the fact that knee surgery is in my future…on both knees…I have denied the pain from both for over 40 years but with what I have endured lately it might be time to get it done…

But with all the pain and all the crap of work was a gentile day…

After my brief stop at work…talking about that had a voice mail waiting from one of the execs…but was gone before I rolled in…live with it…I will do the Saturday deal but I get there when I get there…will deal with his concerns Monday…he ain’t goin’ to be there on Sunday…I will for a bit but you can bet your bottom dollar he won’t be there… on one hand I should get up 6ish to attend to work before church…on the other hand don’t think I can accomplish what I really should do in the time frame…and think I might attend work after church…

Ok, my comment to my faith may be a problem to some…live with it…it is what It is…I will never apologies for my faith…I will never “hit you over the head with it” as a fundamentalist might…but my faith is what it is…besides I have two commitments to service on Sunday…foremost I have taught adult Christian education for …well the better part of 40 years…and I sing harmony with my church’s worship team…contemporary music group…I am an amateur musician…or as some would say vocalist…I sing classical/liturgical with the local choral society…I am the lead high tenor…and with my local church worship team as a harmony singer…harmony singing is what I have done for over 50 years…although I have only a vague memory of the event…I first sang in public at about 5+ years old…children’s day…an event celebrated in fundamentalist/evangelical churches if no where else…and they tell me I already sang harmony…

I remember my first music class in first grade…I can’t remember the song but I do remember I sang a harmony line to whatever the song was…when we got done the teacher …Mrs. Strauss IIRC (forgive but that was like 53 some odd years ago)…said who’s singing harmony…I remember thinking I was in big trouble…but raised my hand and admitted it was me…she looked at me…pointed to about 5 or 6 others and said stand next to him and sing the line he’s singing…after a few other music classes she said to me do you hear another line…I said I hear 3 or 4 but only one I can actually sing…she put another 5 or 6 with me to learn that part…in the concert we where the only 1st grade choir that sang any harmony at all and the only on with 3 parts…

I have a friend…Todd by name…he has his docs in physiology… but is a brilliant musician…chiefly on violin…but plays multiple instruments…I once asked him why he wasn’t playing with an orchestra somewhere…he looked me straight in the eye and said…why aren’t you singing with an opera company or a major choral music group…well I said there are really two reasons…the first is no one ever told me I could…and even if they had the real reason is music…performance …is my escape from the real world…it is my joy…it is my safe place …to hide…to relax…to find joy…and I was afraid that if I made it what my income came from I would lose the joy, the peace, the escape…Todd looked me right in the eye and said…exactly…

Friday, January 26, 2007

Really was pleasantly surprised today, for an end of month Friday work was reasonably sane. On the physical side, what with the cold (-3*F this AM)…and heavens knows what the wind chill was, add in too many hours on the folklift over the last several days…my knees were killing me today…

I am nothing if not a creature of habit…Friday night is Chinese…the buffet I go to has a pick your own raw ingredients Mongolian barbecue…nice…and Saturday lunch is a stop at a local upscale Greek diner for a gyro sandwich served open face…weird thing is those two places set side by side in a local strip mall…well at least I know how to get there…

Thursday, January 25, 2007

Dang…today was simply another day in the life…not the worst day…not the best day…3+hours in an barely heated warehouse in minus something degrees F…and a meeting I was requested to attend…a meeting where I sat basically mute for most of the hour +…none of the issues I might have had were even addressed…

But on the bright side my cd-player is blasting out “Brass and Pipes”…nice…all is well…if you try to define what I am and leave out classical music…liturgical music…brass/woodwind music…and even Gregorian chat…then you will come up with a definition that misses the mark …badly
One other thing from the day that was…I got a shipment from the parent company that didn’t match up to any purchase order on file…could not make heads or tails of what we had received or match to any know PO…after much grief…and too much time with the purchasing clerk …well I did get an export packing list (said said clerk)…%$#@!”Why the h*ll didn’t you tell me that is the first place”…didn’t actually say that but wanted to…
And finally to the T-man, brilliant idea…I’m kicking myself that I didn’t think about that years ago…you are “The Man”…

I’ve got to admit…the more I think about the final two in “Top Chef” the more I get pissed off…both are your classic Johnny one notes…they only do one take on food well…my dream team to the finals would have been Sam & Elia …both gone…if Marcel wins…I refuse to use that language on this bog…

I think I mentioned my D’s and my trip to the new Indian restaurant in town Sunday past…she and her hubby went there tonight…I got a call from D tonight…you must try this dish…

The next two or three days promises to be an absolute bitch at work…really don’t want to go there but “It is what it is”

I am really worried about a co-worker…about my age …a few years younger…but we aren’t spring chickens if you get my drift…she seems to be having major memory issues…I hope I’m wrong but fear she may have some serious issues…

Wednesday, January 24, 2007

Just got done watching the “Top Chef” semifinals…of the two choice to go to the finals …they aren’t the ones I wanted to see…Ilan is mister one note Spanish …and Marcel is just a complete a-hat…rats…

Sunday, January 21, 2007

It has been a very gentile, lovely day…probably should have gone to work…was not required …so I passed…Adult CE class went great…can remember the last time I felt the guidance like I did this AM…Worship team in both services…the combo of me, N, and Briel…and the addition of K in the second service…Briel and K sing a very solid melody line and N and I weaved an absolute solid quilt of a harmony below them…the M lady is back next week and that promises to put us over the edge…despite being very petite M has a contralto voice verging on tenor 2 voice…and N lady and I weave a pattern between her alto/2nd soprano and my high tenor/countertenor…we are on the verge of doing better then the best we’ve every done…when C and J and I were the vocalist…we did an unreal ladies trio…and I’m not…a lady that is…

My daughter’s hubby was out of town today so we “did lunch”. Fairly new restaurant in town …Indian food…(I mean east Indian not native American). Except for one dish on the buffet, I really enjoyed it all…will definitely add it to my must be there once a week rota of restaurants…

Watch a bad movie this afternoon…and will watch it again early evening…Jennifer Biels playing a tough Amazon…”Stealth”…I know but if Biels is in it, and plays the tough chick which she is…I’m watching…over…over…and over again…I know I’m pathetic…and a dirty old man…I accept that…

Friday, January 19, 2007

As I sat down to write this post I heard the off key trill that cat Aggie Sue thinks is a meow…a brief pause…or is it paws…before writing this…

What a maniacal 3 days at work, I changed the propane tank on the forklift Wednesday morning, and again today AM…can't remember when I’ve put that many hours on the lift in a little over two days…I’m physically and mentally beat up as of now…

I am nothing if not a creature of habit…Friday evening is a trip to a local Chinese buffet…a nice spread and they have a pick your own raw ingredients and watch them being cooked on their Mongolian Barbeque

…And Saturday lunch is at my fav upscale Greek diner for a gyro served open face…the weird thing is that my two-fav spots sit next to each other in a local strip mall…

Thursday, January 18, 2007

I’ve spent about 10+ hours out of the last 16 work hours in a very cold warehouse and it looks like another 5 or 6 tomorrow…most of those on a forklift…I’m getting too old for that amount of grief on 3 consecutive days…

What the hell were the contestants on “Top Chef” thinking in last nights episode…did they think rather then being on “Top Chef” they were on the WWE…dang

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Today was not the best day of my life. First I slept through until the alarm awoke me, dang I hate that. Second it was –13 below zero F…and then I spent like 6 of the 8 working hours of the day in a barely heated/unheated warehouse…by days end I was spent…stopped off for a beef sub on the way hope but headed immediately for a very hot bath…I feel better now but still feel spent

Watched “Top Chef” tonight…the finally four have been determined…and I am pleased…sort of…I have thought from the beginning or nearly so than Sam, √Član, and Elia…deserved to be in the finals…I can stand Marcel…but we can have everything we want

Saturday, January 13, 2007

What a beautiful, gentile day, I rolled out of bed way after 9 AM, didn’t have to spend the usual few hours at work today, had conned a free day, although I do need to spend sometime tomorrow. Usually do errands and stopped at my fav upscale Greek diner, for and open face Gyro late morning on the way home, but got up watched a little tube and went out mid=afternoon for errands…and a Gyro…it’s both sad, pathetic, predictable and nice that I walked in and the waitress told me what I wanted, the only changeable thing is the side, usually I just get the standards chips but today decided to go with the onion rings…

Do need to spend a couple at work tomorrow but whether I do it first thing…and that means like 6:30 AM, or after church (like 11:30 AM…haven’t made my choice) choice will be made at bedtime and decided by where I want to go to brunch…

Sunday, January 7, 2007

Today might have been the weird day of my life. After a great night of sleep I awoke feeling prime…and as the day progressed I increasingly felt

Worse and worse…

Oh hell I hate old age

Saturday, January 6, 2007

What a messed up day yesterday was…I spend 4 hours of my time and a total of 14 and a half man-hours to unload a container that should have taken maybe 1.5 man-hours if the vender had used appropriate pallets…

Well anyways I was spent by the end of the day…but went to my typical Friday restaurant…a Chinese buffet with a Mongolian barbecue…nice…ran into some old friends and had a nice meal and some interesting conversation…

Needed to put some time into work this AM and awoke in a very bad place…but did the deed at work even though …and though I debated my choice…did end up lunching at my typical Saturday place…my local Greek upscale diner, for an open faced Gyro…and it was a turn around for an other wise bad day…

Thursday, January 4, 2007

I’m disappointed; Diem is gone from “Real World”… Jody is still there so I might watch…but without the personality of Diem…”Real World” is frankly halved in my interest…Jody is a physically presence…but little else…

A nasty day at work, would have liked to take the PM off, but that just didn’t happen…again…

Wednesday, January 3, 2007

I as annoyed at the result of “Top Chef” tonight, no I didn’t taste the food. But I do I think that this was a producers choice…