trials of a troll trying to get by in a world messed up by humankind [ I'M AT UTC -5]

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

You know that life is what it is…sometimes we get what we desire…and sometimes we get what we deserve…but 90% of the time we get …well neither of the above but we just have to deal with it…

Saturday, March 24, 2007

An interesting day…a little Chinese buffet for lunch, they had egg fu yong…one my absolute favs…and interesting day…spent more time on the phone with old fiends then I have spent on the phone in …well years…3 of us are arranging a lunch…and I need this…

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

Life is a strange journey…it has many different choices…but the rub is that we can only pursue one at any given times…roll the dice and hope we pick the best path…
If today was the next day of the rest of my life I would take a pass…

Monday, March 19, 2007

The Iraq war is really starting to wear on me, I was never a supporter, I live in a military community…and have had many peeps I know either assigned there or know the wives of husbands who are assigned there…

Putting ourselves into a situation where sectarian violence was a given was a huge mistake…I saw the possibility…why were our leaders blind to it…In my opinion a huge mistake…

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Awake early and feeling down physically…so what’s new…but did what was required…cancel that…I did what I needed to do…what I wanted to do…a nice lunch at my local upscale Greek diner…discovered a new fav…Awake early and feeling down physically…so what’s new…but did what was required…cancel that…I did what I needed to do…what I wanted to do…a nice lunch at my local upscale Greek diner…discovered a new fav…

Saturday, March 17, 2007

I am reminding of the quote from “The Tale of Two Cities”…”it was the best of times and the worst of times”…that pretty much sums up my day…I struggled all day with my familial tremors…and a basically boring day…but a nice meal of corned beef, cabbage and potatoes at my daughter’s and nice conversation…while my genetic roots are light years from Irish…I love the tradition Irish boiled dinner…

Thursday, March 15, 2007

A long phone call tonight with a dear old friend…well maybe I should not say old …but rather that I have know this peep for like 20+ years…the peep was concerned about me but truth be told I’m more concerned about my peep…my thoughts and prayers are with my friend…nuff said…

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

It is what it is…and I accept that…it isn’t what I would have chosen…but then when do you really get to choose…oh I could make a valid argument that we do get to choose…but it seems like I never have a choice between what’s best for me and what isn’t…but rather the choice always seems to be the lesser of a selections of what’s least bad…ok so I’m a pessimist…or maybe a realist…or maybe it’s just that I seem to always be offered the dirty end of the stick…

To the two old friends who called today to see how I was holding up a special thank you…and to the one who requested that I keep them in my thoughts and prayers you’re there…

Life is a funny thing…it is a balance between many variables…

Today for example I was physically pretty low…but on other levels a great day…

Tuesday is my fav day of the week…for it is the day of worship team practice…I get to hang out for a while with a great bunch of peeps and make music…music is what keeps me “centered”…it is where I run to when everything else in my life is out of balance…

Monday, March 12, 2007

Today was one of those low physically days that as a youth I never anticipated…we think as a young person we will always feel …alive and ready for anything…there is no way as a youth we can anticipate being old…

To those who expect me to in some way to “go off” about what has occurred of late…please stop coming here…your presence annoys me and you will not get the pleasure you seek…

Did I make an error in judgment…no dah?

But in retrospect was it a positive…absolutely…

The weight of the world has been lifted…and I’m okay

So just go away…and leave me alone

(NOTE: to those who have come here by chance ignore the above…it’s for those who think that I am at low ebb and have never or could never understand who and what I am)

I have had over the last 20+ years 6 cats …anyone who has ever read this slag heap knows I love my cats… 4 of the 6 are no more…all of the 6 are indoor cats…de-clawed and spade females…3 of the 4 have died of cancer…drives me nuts…I wish that all of them would have been at my funeral

I have a whole litany of things to say tonight, well actually this morning so this may very well turn into a novella…

Has been warm the last two days…not warm mind you mid summer warm but warm for early March and the huge snow banks that have obscured visibility when driving and the mess that was my drive way have been greatly improved…

I’m a little peeved that the ‘Cuse did not make the NCAA’s but I half expected it…I thought they really needed to go one round deeper in the conference championships then they did…and despite a good seed in the NIT’s their history in the “also rans” tournament is not good…

Been a mixed bag sort of day …some highs…some lows…and a whole bunch of neutrals…

Saw my genius nephew today…and of all of my nieces and nephews…and grand nieces and nephews he is the one that I connect with the most…he is like 20 or 21 and is getting his masters in computer science from RPI this spring …and has accepted a job offer from Google which he will start in May…although I truly expect that he will eventually succumb to fate and my predictions for him and end of getting his PhD. And ending up in academia…the only reason he won’t is just to prove me wrong…

I have made an interesting observation about cats…I have shared my existence over the last 20+ some odd years with 6 of those little fur balls…2 remain…they seem to live (unlike dogs who come when they are called)…totally by their own needs, desires, whims…they come when called only if it fits in with their own agenda…but I love them just the same…

Well I bit short of a novella…but nite all

Friday, March 9, 2007

This winter has kicked the crap out of me…I have been forced to pay to get pulled out of my driveway 3 times…none recent…and the cold has been a source of great distress…things are what they are…if one thing can be resolved…I have come to the conclusion that I should move to a spot with less weather extremes then the spot I find myself in at this point…

Thursday, March 8, 2007

I hope that today was not the next day of the rest of my life…a physically very low day…but a decent day on other levels…I guess at my age I must accept low days physically but it is a struggle…

Wednesday, March 7, 2007

Has not been the best day in my life. I have a condition known as familial tremors, and it was as bad this morning as I can ever remember…but a good day on other fronts …so I’ll take it (if your interested
familial tremors)

Had a great time at worship team practice tonight…we had a new vocalist…has the ability to sing a descant part…hope she has the time to continue…never have sung with her before but the vibes suggest that I have sung with her forever

On another note…a dear friend stopped by today…with obvious great concern about my current status…thanks you but forgive for me being evasive…I protect you…not me
To those of you who have hit my site off troll54 in a search engine…and expect me to respond in a negative way about the events that we (that is me and you) are aware, it ain’t going to happen…

Monday, March 5, 2007

Today was not the best day of my life…physically I have struggled all day with the issues that are part and parcel of my arthritis…

To those of you who have been logging on of late to get some tidbit of an explosive response to what is…you will be disappointed because nothing is forth coming…

Sunday, March 4, 2007

I find myself in a very strange place…a very conflicted place…I am not now …nor every have been a supporter of the current war in Iraq…I have now and always thought that it was a huge mistake in judgment by our leaders…on the other hand it is very personal to me…I live just a short drive to Fort Drum…home of the 10Th Mountain Division…I have several friends…or spouses of friends who have served in that war…peeps I love and respect…I am struggling with my need to support peeps I love and respect…while faced with the reality that what they are ordered to do…and what their families have to endure…and the fact that that I am convinced that we (as a nation) are involved in the ultimate no win scenario…I support my friends…and those that they love…but I can’t support the war…I guess that what I’m really saying is that I am at a crisis between my emotions and my logic…and can’t decide which wins…I really hate it when my humanity over powers my reason…
Today was a day of highs and lows, it was a day of confessions/explanations…It was a day when the spirit was fine, but the flesh was weak…a day of reunion…

Saturday, March 3, 2007

Life is what it is, sometimes we get what we most want, sometimes we get what we deserve, and sometimes we get what we least expect…and that’s where I find myself right now…but I will deal with it…at anytime in my life I am in the perfect place to deal with that which I never thought that I must deal with…

Friday, March 2, 2007

Not strangely, but rather predictably my interesting in blogging has been re-kindled…(there will be a brief pause here as I am in the middle of an uncontrollable fit of sneezing).

Over the least few months I have lost interest in this slag heap that I call my blog…except for one brief moment that in many ways was a huge mistake…(long since has been deleted)…but in many ways maybe the most important post I’ve ever made…because it has spawned the beginning of my next life…others made a choice that I was reluctant to make but needed to…and for that I am grateful…I have always worked off the theory that no good deed every goes unpunished…but now I feel that no misinterpreted deed ever goes un-rewarded…what many would view as the low point in my life…I view as a blessing…

The internet is a very strange place, it is a place where peeps are what the post (in blogs/newsgroups/chat rooms) say they are, but are they really what they claim to be…in most cases we will never see the real person…never see who they really are…only who they want us to see (and by seen I mean what their posts imply)…the sexy…cool…charming 20 something babe may actually be in her mid 40’s and weigh 600 lbs…if we must accept at face value those that we meet in real life…do we not have to take as a grain of salt those we meet in internet life (for lack of a better word)…if you don’t take in context what we read in internet form…then pardon but you have been deceived…if you take anything you read here…or in and internet forum as gospel…then you are ….____…fill in your own blank…and be honest…
I decided it was time for a change, I’ve been using a generic topical arthritis rub for years and lately it just hasn’t been doing the job. I decided to switch to a new topical rub the uses, as it’s active ingredient the same natural substance that makes hot peppers hot. Now this is like 3 times the money for ½ the volume of product, but it seems on first application that it may very well be worth the added expense…